Child : A victim of parent's failure...??

“We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt

I stared out of the balcony in an attempt to hide my face and the tears that had braced my eyes from my roommates, my eyes itched as the tears were held back, while watching DID little champ (A dance reality show). Two beautiful and extremely talented children couldn’t qualify for the next round and they were literally crying for not getting through. I was filled with a variety of emotions and anxiety and the only thought concluding at theend was where we are leading our kids, a picture of failure and frustration.What else we expect from 7-8 year old child.?

I see the parents are so obsessed with making their kid something, some fame, what they couldn’t do or achieve by competing with their neighbor and overseeing their interest and age and putting their childhood on stake. This attitude is commonly observed in middleclass families, Its something like, you turn on the TV, child shakes their hand or a utter few word on some song and you decide he is interested in dancing or singing, I will make him a RockStar. may be because Somewhere in your mind its there "Maine nahi kiya but mera beta/beti karega"  SRK never asks his kids for something.

This is the age of showing their love and care in order to make a solid foundation so that they can lead the life they want; not to tame them willingly by putting them in dance class or something and ignoring their own interest. Basic idea of these training's or encouragement in order to compete is utter selfishness on behalf of the parents.. We have to love our children unselfishly. That is hard. But it is the only way...

From quite a few times we are questioning and discussing the approach of present examination systems means the beginning of fear, tension, anxiety and stress in the minds of the students under which if a student doesn't performs according to his/her parents expectations may lead to students even taking the extreme step of ending their life by doing suicide. The Government has removed the marks system in academics and introduced grade system to avoid their overall growth.The government should also fix some minimum age for these kind of reality show to protect the childhood of future India...

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up…

A messy consciousness...

A child with a toy..., the toy absorves him, the toy has absorved the child... so I grew up with this Idea, there is somthing outside which will absove me, which will make me peaceful... An outside egency that will keep quite like God, prayer, someone or even looking some beautiful place & Mountain... If I reject an outside agency completely, nothing can absorve me. then I will be left with myself and be absorved by myself...

you are depending on something like Wife, GF / Bf etc. and dependence demands attachments... you want something out of it... becoz you are a self centered individual. so is you living with conflict in mind, divided all the time...
Actually Self is NOT...

Wo raha us kone me jhank raha bahar us khirk se, ate jate gadiyon ko.

Maine puchha: kya hua yanha kya kar rahe ho akele , aaj khelne nahi jana kya? Nahi bas un hi, mann nahi kar raha.

Uski yaad a rahi hai kya? Humn, usne dheere se kaha.

Maine kaha : koi nahi, aur bhi to dost hain na, dekho us makan me neye uncle-aunti ayen hai, unke do bache hain, ek to tumhare hi class me padhti hai.

Usne meri taraf dekha, aur fir se bahar dekhne laga.

Maine kaha: tum to hamesha us se ladte rahete the, aur kitno dino se to us se baat nahi kara rahe the, tumne hi to kahte the, wo achh hai nahi tumhare sath khelne nahi ati, ab kya hua.

Usne kuchhh nahi bola… maine fir se puchha, bolo to kya hua. wo jate waqt bhi ladke hi gayee, usne kaha she hates me, maine itna sorry kaha usne kuchh nahi suna.

Main uske ghar pe bhi gaya, uske liye smoshe le ke magar usne to dhang se bat bhi nahi kara mujh se. mujhe gussa nahi ata kya. Pata nahi kya samjhti hai khud ko. Ab aur main kya karta. Wo itne ghusse me thi ki main bol nahi paya kuchh, Khadusni ne movie bhi nahi dekhne diya, bolti hai use padhna hai...
humn, achha achha to sari galti ussi ki hain na?? tum to sabse achhe ho!! jarur tumne kuchh kaha ho ga ya kya hoga, tumhe main achhi tarah janti hun, bolte waqt kuchh sochte ho kya?? I said sarcastically.
hain to maine sorry to bola na itni baar,  wo to mujhe janti hai na main aisa hi huin, aur main uske ghar bhi to gaya... main bhi to use hamesha maaf kardeta tha na, wo to mere se kitne bure se pes aati rahti thi, pahle to bhut achhi thi, ab to mere sath khelne bhi nahi aati thi.

Main kaha: Humn, chal chhoro jane do na, wo gandi hai ...to achha hai na wo chali gayee.

usne kuchh jabab nahi diya, bas dekhta raha, road pe ate jate un gadiyon ko... sahi hai har chejon ko kud se saljhna karna aur nikalna, use hi to anubhav kahte hain sayad.

-to be continued   ...

My deeds could be callous and hurting you,
My words might sound irritating and meaningless to you
But my intention was always clear to me - Not to lose you.

I know Silence is more eloquent than words…but then, I wish u could see that sm1’s Ego couldn’t defy its heart and he burst out, just by seeing you once after a long.

I am only responsible of making my own mess, no one else; It isn't “fear of losing You” but The "Fear" itself. My thought itself is the creator of my illusion, no one else...

A moment of suffocation...

yet another sleepless night for him, again everything got unwrapped, a uncontrolled mind full of past thoughts...
it was all well and good until she got into his way again all of sudden, by the time he could see and control himself, she waved her hand and he couldn't resist to ignore and ran to her for another mockery. ha ha. he looked back whether it was for him or someone else. then finally he realized that someone else is in front of him only as she got busy with him, her new intimacy but he was not surprised as he knew her and was sure well in advance when she use to tell about him as a good and better understanding guy. well that's good He, as always unbothered. she being so formal and he being so unwillingly blunt. As she didn't care to introduce and continued with him, he felt ignored. he stepped back feeling suffocated and desperately praying for cab to come and finally it came and he jumped in n dipped himself in book, in his hand. as the cab started he realized she couldn't get in as it got full, a sudden pain and anger ran into his body for forgetting the cutesy that resulted in compulsion of sending sorry message... he left the place but couldn't leave his emotion there and carried it to his room, God knows how long it will last this time... and how irritating it will be for her...
kal Koi tha yanhi ab koi bhi nahi... Tanhayeee milon hai tanhayee